Why the poor like mac and cheese

I heard somebody say today that it is the poor's fault that they're overweight and unhealthy. In response, I Googled synonyms for 'ridiculous.' They are:

absurd, antic, bizarre, comic, comical, contemptible, crazy, daffy, derisory, droll, fantastic, farcical, foolheaded, foolish, gelastic, goofy, grotesque, harebrained, hilarious, impossible, incredible, jerky, laughable, ludicrous, nonsensical, nutty, outrageous, preposterous, risible, sappy, silly, slaphappy, unbelievable, wacky

I think you get the point. And I do hope the bolding helped. My personal favorite from the above list is derisory, only because I've never heard it before.

To back up my friend's point, there was a news story* done somewhat recently about kids in I believe Appalachia whose parents bought them lots of Mountain Dew. This resulted in the kids having terrible teeth. The news story portrayed the parents as awful people who should've known better. Stopping right there, most people might agree.

But let's look at this issue a bit more closely. Do you know how much Mountain Dew (or any other soda) costs in comparison to a healthier alternative, such as water or milk? Check your local Wal-Mart. Mountain Dew is significantly cheaper. And when you're a single parent of, say, three or four kids, would you rather buy plain old expensive water, or cheap, sugary, lovable Mountain Dew? I think the choice is obvious. They choose the unhealthy option because it's cheaper.

Not convinced? Let's look at other food. Mac and cheese, frozen pizza, SpaghettiOs, etc. They're all much less than lettuce, fruits, vegetables, and basically anything remotely healthy. No struggling parent(s) is/are willing to pay for expensive food that their kids probably won't like when there's a cheaper, tastier alternative. And let's not even delve into fast food. I don't care how many lawsuits McDonald's wins, that food is crap.

Aside from that, if you've got to get the kids up, ready for school/daycare before heading to your two or three jobs and then pick them up and come home and fix dinner for them (or get fast food), you have no time to spend working out or even attempting an active lifestyle. That coupled with bad food equals obesity, unhealthiness, etc.

To conclude my first point, it is ridiculous to blame the poor for being unhealthy. But then, this gets that thought stirring in the back of our minds...."Isn't it their fault they're in this position? Why can't they pull themselves out of this?"

Well, my dear friends (or strangers who are reading this), the most politically correct answer is that it's situational. But that's beside the point. Once you're down there, it's hard to get out. Let's briefly peer into the lives of the poor, and more specifically, those whose families have been in poverty for several generations.

There's a psychological term called learned helplessness. Dictionary.com calls it, "a mental condition in which one becomes unable to help oneself due to previous failed attempts at controlling one's life." For those families who have been poor for generations, they have learned helplessness (similar to mulligrubs**). Though to us it may seem illogical, to them, it seems impossible to get out of the situation they're in. And in many ways, the're right. Maybe the government gives them money. They're not allowed to put that money into savings. And even if they could, how would they know how to or what to do with the money? Who would they ask for help? Their parents, who know nothing about it? Their neighbors, who are likely in a similar situation? In short, they have nobody to go to. They're lost, confused, and were probably never taught how to manage money properly. This leads in to my next point.

How many times have you seen people you know aren't making much money wearing crazy, cool [name-brand] clothes? Or that have TVs taller than your treehouse? Stereo systems snazzier than your sofa? (Did you like the alliteration? I hope so). You probably have seen these people, and wondered how they could afford such niceties when they're making minimum wage. You probably get angry when you see a family who bought a Wii instead of winter coats for their three kids. Maybe, you even start to think that they don't deserve our help because they make such awful decisions.

[Brief note. The fact that you (potentially) think that buying a Wii over coats is an awful decision is a middle-class value. These people are not middle-class, and their money-making decisions are based on different principles than our own. Read on.]

Look at it this way. If you're getting government money, that's not money to pay for nice appliances, video game systems, or fancy cars. It's for food. It's for daycare. Or it's for those three winter coats. Why would you spend your own money on coats or food when the government will pay for it? No, of course not. So, they spend it on other things. Things that are as symbol of status. No one's going to crowd around you looking at your cool food stamps. They're going to admire your 46" TV. Buying these things are an escape. Those winter coats? They might last one winter. Maybe two. But that Wii will last for years, and provide hours of entertainment. In many ways, it is a smarter buy.

One more important thing I'd like to point out. I am a very lucky person. I've never felt like money was tight, nor have I ever had to worry about where my next meal will come from. I come from a place of privilege, and if you're reading this, there's a good chance you do too. Do not pity these people. Last week while I was helping tear up a driveway in a poor part of Rockford, Illinois, a good friend of mine noticed something. Though we were in the lower-end part of town, the people living there were not unhappy, depressed, moping people. They were sitting out on their wide porches, chatting with their neighbors and family who had just come home. Having a great time.

So think about this: Do you even know all of your neighbors? I know I don't. We've had a family next door to us for five years, and I still don't know any of their names. They [the poor] have a much greater sense of community than I do, and here I am, calling myself a lucky one.




*I haven't actually watched this story. I'm just telling what I've heard from a friend. I apologize if something I said was inaccurate.

**Mulligrubs is a weird word I looked up and decided to use. According to worldwidewords.org, it means "a state of depression or low spirits."

I was thinking about what I like to call mind-sets. To me, they're a set of general things you think of during any given time period. For example, during the school year, a common mind-set would be, "Why can't my band director conduct?", "What is a quest, exactly?" (it's a mix between a quiz and a test, but really, what is it?), "Why can't I remember what's for lunch, even when I'm told every morning?", etc. But once summer hits, I don't think about those things anymore. My mind-set switches to other, more important things, like "What will I make for lunch?", "Why is there a dead moth in my room?", and "Why do I get up early to run?"

It's interesting to me to note what is in my previous mind-sets. Assuming I can even remember them. They're usually much more specific and relevant things than my above examples, but those are just examples.

Which reminds me of something that I heard recently, as inspiration for a friend's tattoo. "The only constant is change." Think about it. Aside from big things, like the fact that you will pee regularly, almost nothing will always stay the same, without a doubt. Even gender changes for some people. And in Ecuador, the most common use for an oven is storage. I suppose that's not a change for anybody, but it's certainly different. Perhaps one day in other places in the world, spacious appliances will be used for pet cages.

Another example is Facebook. I find it hilarious every time the layout changes. Everybody makes a fuss, throws kittens, and creates Flair in protest, proclaiming they liked it the way it was. Yet, the time before, they made a fuss about it. And odds are, the next time, they'll throw a few more kittens, and punch a sloth for good measure. Aside from how unfair it is for the animals (it certainly wasn't their fault), it's just plain silly. After about a week of heavy use, everybody adapts, and life is good again, major crisis is over.

My favorite example of how people adapt to change is of a woman who was (I believe) fully paralyzed. Pretty devastating. Yet today, she's a completely happy person. Her paralysis became the norm, and in terms of her happiness (or lackthereof), she's happier than lots of fully fuctional people with absolutely no problems to speak of.